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| Wow its been awhile sense I last wrote in here, things have been busy went to Omaha for spring break had fun there I had to get a new tire for my rodeo cuz someone stabbed the old one soo not cool. Umm I had my widsom teeth pulled a couple weeks ago and I spent the next week sleeping because of the meds they had me on and now I have a cold blah! but things have been good Iv been looking at homes online alot to get an idea of whats out there I cant wait to move this place is jsut too small anymore. Jonjon is getting soo big he can climb on the sofa and chairs now, he wants to climb on everything now lol. Hes soo smart too, Jessica brought a "Think it over Baby" home and everytime it cried he would try to give it the bottle lol he didnt know wether it was real or fake lol.
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| I dont know what else to do, Doelito has been getting very upset and mad lately over the smallest things. I have to watch everything I say and still he seems to get mad. I know hes stressed being over there and for so long he tells me that all the time but when I ask him whats wrong when he explodes he jsut says hes sick of it and hes ready to give up. I dont know what else to do help him he dosnt want to open up and talk to me he keeps telling me someday and in the mean time hes still getting angry. I dont hold it against him I know its part of his PTSD but it still gets to me I dont let him see that but I hate when hes angry and made with me. I dont know what else I can do to help him I fell soo helpless. I told him I have come to expect it and I have I expect him to have outbursts and be angry or not talk at all. We lived for a year before he was diagnosed professionaly with it ( I told him he had it) and life was well not that great Iv seen all the classic symtoms in him. It seemd good the last couple of mo he was home and now it looks like we are going back to square one. I was soo afraid of this happening or him coming home worse I just wish there was somthign I could do to help him other then waiting for him to open up. Im always understanding and patient with him and he always thanks me for that but there has to be somthing more I can do to help him. I hate when hes like this. I cant wait till this is all over and hes home for good so he can concentrait on his PTSD and try to improve I know he will always have it it wont ever go away. I just wish we could be like we were before he left the first time I know its a useless wish but I can dream. | | |
| It was a busy week, I went shopping in topeka on Tuesday with Michaele and on Friday I went to the BSU Step Show but had to leave early cuz Jonjon didnt like all the noise it scared him but what I saw was really good. Then on Saturday I went to Michaeles baby shower which was fun I won the poopy diaper game lol. and Sunday I went to my moms and worked on the kitchen again hopefully this coming weekend we can get it finshed. ohh and on Friday I went shopping I got jonjon some really cute boat shoes Im going to dress him up to look like his Papi lol. It has been good I like keeping busy ohh I went and saw Luis on Saturday too cuz he was leaving on Sunday I cant believe how much he has changed I cant wait till they are all back I miss my baby soo much but his R&R is coming up fast I just hope I can get into a lil better shape before he gets home I want to look good for him and he has gotten skinny so I have to look like I have been doing somthing lol. Umm today I didnt leave the house I cleaned all day and when I went to vacume the vacume kinda poofed and all this dust went everywhere so I had to clean all over again! it was like ugg it just never ends lol but I need to go to sleep now cuz its 2am I hate insomnia. | | |
| So this weekend started out really good, did alot of shopping. Im changing Jonjon room into the Cars theme,& saturday I went and did taxes and all that good stuff and did some more shopping with my mom we decided to play While Your Out. My dad went to vist my grandparents so we started to redo the kitchen and that was alot of fun we still arent done yet though lol so my dad came home to a half finshed kitchen lol. Anyway so I go home last night and get Jonjon to sleep and I turn on the heater sense I had it off all day and then maybe 15min later my Carbon Monoxide thinging goes off so I reset it and it goes off again so I call the fire department and they came by to check it out turns out the levels were very high 85ppm and it should be 35ppm so they told us we had to get out of the apt. So I sent Jonjon to my mom sense by now its 11pm and I waited around for the KPNL guy to tell me what was up, they still have no idea so I have to have a matenice person come by and clean my fernace before I can go back to the apt. It was a very eventful weekend! | | |
| Today started off great!! my baby called me I havent gotten to talk to him on the phone in months! I loved hearing his voice first thing in the morning, his net has been down and is still down blah but Im still happy he called. It was a good day too, we all went out to dinner and it was soo good! then we went to best buy and my mom got Jonjon the Cars movie hes gunna love that, then we went to walmart and I couldnt resit shopping lol I got jonjon a Cars rug, wall stickers and bubbles he loved thouse hes never played with them and I found a couple lil VW cars and I had to get thouse lol.Then we came back here and me and my mom decorated with the stuff I got, his room is going to look great once I have gotten everything it already looks like a lil boy room. Tomorrow we have a lil birthday party to go to and Im going to the mall so it looks like tomorrow is going to be a good day too. | | |
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